I’m no prude myself

photo by Olga Vasikova

photo by Olga Vasikova

Lena’s inclination has posed challenges for me, and I’m no prude myself. I have come to greatly value the sexual part of myself–but that’s in spite of an upbringing in which my mother never mentioned sex and my father only mentioned it once, to tell me that if a man wanted to have sex with me before marriage then he surely was up to no good.

Over the decades, I grew a Healthy Sexual Value System (HSVS) that I now enjoy without the conflict to which my upbringing predisposed me. According to this HSVS, sex is a great Gift with which the Divine entrusts us, however encumbered choices for how to use the Gift may seem at times. In contradistinction to my father’s svs (sexual value system), I as a woman exercise a lot of sexual agency and, quite shockingly to individuals blinded by svs, this turns out to work outrageously well for my partner. It is crucial to my HSVS, furthermore, to stay in touch with my own desires. Those desires are a platform of honesty from which sexual pleasure can continue to emanate as long as communication is open and honest.

I am so grateful for the wholeness my sexuality accords me! I want my daughter to be whole, and not to disown important parts of herself or to feel that she has to hide them from her mother. She is inclined in a sensual direction with or without my say-so. These are some of the reasons that I find myself asking, Since I’ve rejected prudish inclinations as not life-giving, not authentically me, why shouldn’t I wholeheartedly embrace this process of guiding Lena in the areas of sensuality and sexuality, with the benefit of my fifty-something wisdom and HSVS, now? With whatever level of involvement she invites from me?

My daughter’s sexual blossoming has made for an interesting ride, and certainly not one I would have imagined or necessarily wished for when she was just a twinkle in my eye. Lena’s sensuousness has posed challenges for me, and I have to say I’m no prude myself.



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